im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
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Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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