I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have post one night stand depression
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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