Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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