sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
