Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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