How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
