okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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