At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
