He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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