once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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