Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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