I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
