as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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