I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
