i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
