They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
