i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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