i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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