Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
