my sisters under your porch take her home
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You brought string cheese to the strip club
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize