You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
