Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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