I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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