dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
