forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
