I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
