Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list

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(305): View more from Florida

We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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(713): View more from Texas

You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin

(954): View more from Florida

Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

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(585): View more from New York

This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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(765): View more from Indiana

So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘

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