and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
