dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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