glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
time to smoke my breakfast
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
