you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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