She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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