I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
