Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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