Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
