I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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