Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Someone signed my nipple.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
