i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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