Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
