Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
