he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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