how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
