Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
