youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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