Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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