how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
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