At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
