My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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