I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
