If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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