We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
