if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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