we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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