I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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