the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This baby is an asshole
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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