my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
