So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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