i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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