Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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